Tuesday, February 7, 2012

When I Grow Up

My oldest asked me once why we have to just choose one thing to be when we grow up. I feel the exact same way. Currently I am one Bio class away from entering the nursing program to become an RN. This has been my dream since I was a little girl. Only problem with nursing is needles. I hate needles. As I am studying, I have discovered another problem with nursing. All the diseases and things that can go wrong, therefore creating the need for nurses.
I have somewhat of a reputation for imaginitis, or thinking I have everything I hear about. Kevin has banned me from watching mystery diagnosis on TV because we often have conversations along these lines; Me: I think I have that! I wonder what stage I'm in! Kevin: Your in no stage. Me: Well thats the perfect stage to start treatment, seeing how your chances of surviving go down with each stage. Kevin: Your in no stage because you don't have it, plus I think you have to be a man to get it!
While Kevin was in Africa for two weeks I often fell asleep watching whatever happened to be on. One night I watched "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant". I freaked out and started cleaning all my bathroom cupboards searching frantically for a pregnancy test. True I had just had a baby and my husband was on a two week trip in Africa, but these people thought there was no earthly way they were pregnant, and they ended up on TV!!
Another thing I want to be when I grow up is a writer. I love to read and these people write hopelessly romantic books that make you get goosebumps and cause people to line up for miles three nights before the movie starts after someone turns your book into a film. But what would I write about? I can't do vampires, thats only successful once, plus Kevin tells me my "limited" knowledge of vampires is incorrect in so many aspects. I can't really do self help books, because you have to help yourself first, and I am sure a book on how to stack the most dishes in the sink with out having them fall over is not going to hit the bestsellers list anytime soon. And I haven't gotten stuck in a water barrel in another country, while researching ape behavior, almost died, seen my great grandparents, and then lived to tell about it.
Today I want to be a baby photographer when I grow up! There is this lady in like Nebraska or somewhere there is corn, and she takes these amazing pictures of naked, tiny babies and charges like a million dollars a session, but they are stunning! Lets face it newborns rock. True babies may pee on you while you are trying to capture their breath taking, red, wrinkly skin, but you don't have to cough up a dollar fifty to bribe one tiny smile out of them. They don't throw the props at you, or run away screaming "No I will NOT sit by him!" I really need to find a way to get one of those cool cameras that does everything, including making toast for you!!
So I will tell my kid, go ahead and plan on becoming a dinosaur trainer, an astronaut and a video game maker. Sounds like fun, and how could you possibly choose between those three, seriously!