And God Said.. STOP CLIMBING ON THAT!

I don't know about you, but right now my life is crazy busy. I have friends who go to several Bible Studies a week, I have friends who, every day post Bible verses as their facebook status that they came across when they were doing their three hour quiet time. I have friends who have read every single devotional and are that perfect Proverbs 31 woman. 

Don't get me wrong, I want to grow and be everything I can possibly be. I probably do need a huge dose of "Spirituality" in my every day life. I have a friend who put it so well; "I really try hard to make the Lord my number one priority, but lets face it, the Lord isn't asking me to change his poopy diaper RIGHT NOW."

I determined to read my Bible more. I tried doing it at night and the next morning I had drooled all over Adam naming the animals. So I decided I would try it in the morning, but the baby decided breakfast was more important than the "two by two's" making their way into the ark. I finally found a perfect time to read my Bible; while I am pumping. See I told you I need more spirituality in my daily routine!

Bedtime rolls around and I am determined to be that mom who prays with her kids and has kids who grow up to breathe and sleep and eat prayer and pray prayers that produce food for hungry kids and heals broken limbs instantly. My kids start their prayers, and in between hearing them thank God for Nintendo and asking Him for Luke Skywalker to become a real life person, I must have nodded off, because all of a sudden there is World War 3 going on over top of me because one kid prayed for the other kid to let him use his bicycle and for God to hit him over the head if he doesn't. 

You know that verse about praying without ceasing, I think I am doing better at that! "God please don't let that police officer catch up to me" "God please don't let my kid puke from eating the tube of toothpaste" "God please keep the bank open an extra 20 minutes today" "God please help me not to intentionally lose my fighting kids in the store." "God PLEASE let the bathroom scales be wrong!"

We read a Bible Story the other night and I was interrupted by one of my inquisitive sons; "Mommy what did Noah do with all that poop from the animals on the ark?" Before I could answer  another one asked, "Yeah and where did Noah go to the bathroom?" Which reminded the third kid that he had a poopy diaper, and poor Noah did not get off the boat full of stinky animals that night.

My kids and I do have spiritual discussions. We talk about if nothing is impossible for God than he can make slime come out of his ears. We talk about how big God's fingernail clippings must be if he can hold the whole world in his hands and we talk about how God has to whisper because if he talked out loud, since he's so big, it would pop all of our ears. 

Awhile back, I had a grouchy kid giving me attitude at lunch. I prayed for our food and added a plea for all of us to have good attitudes. Without missing a beat, my child chimed in "Dear God, don't listen to mommy. Amen" 

Last Sunday after church the Sunday School teacher mentioned that my kids were in time out for karate chopping each other over the head multiple times. Yep we are officially the most unspiritual family in church. 

Thankfully I have learned about God's grace and I realize that he understands if the only Bible Verse I read  that day is the one over my kitchen sink or if He has to listen to panicked pleas to keep the child forgotten at school scarred for a short time instead of for life, more than once a week. I think he understands that someday I do plan on joining the deep discussions on how in the world the Proverbs 31 woman ever has time to sleep instead of discussing whether or not dinosaurs will be in Heaven. 

Just Another Day in Paradise

I get a lot of comments about my 22 month old. "He's so cute!" "How do you ever tell him no?" "Look at those eyes" and they go on and on. Those people do not live with him on a regular basis. When I try to convince  them that the innocence is totally superficial, I get nasty looks! So today I followed little Mr. Caleb around with a camera. I did discover he does have pretty cute eyes.

Yesterday when I was picking up Kyler at school, we were standing in line. Before I could stop it, Caleb removed his shoe and hurled it into the lady in front of him. She whirled around with a rather annoyed look on her face and then looks at me and says, "He has the cutest smile I have ever seen." I'm looking at her thinking, "Lady, the kid left a shoe shaped bruise on your shin, remember??" 

Today is Friday; cleaning day. I locked Caleb in the backyard so the house could be clean for 10 minutes.  Well the 10 minutes ended, hurricane Caleb entered the house and I am still sitting in the middle of a ripped up book, with marshmallows scattered about and Kleenex from the freshly emptied box softly floating around my head.

Micah asked for Snickerdoodles. I decided this sounded fabulous so I set out to bake some really quick before supper. Of course Caleb was tired of turning the washing machine on and off and on and off and on and off and on and off, so he wandered over to watch what I was doing. I turned around to wash the flour off of my hands and this is what happened. 

He ate three balls of dough before I stopped him, and as I was filling a second pan I noticed a few more that had not escaped the fingers of Sir Caleb.

As I was finishing up with the cookies, Caleb, who was jumping on the couch, hit his head on the windowsill. Wails and tears and hiccups ensued and I set him up on the counter while I washed up the baking dishes. I stopped to get the phone but Caleb had no problem entertaining himself while I took my attention elsewhere for a few minutes. 

He scampered away as fast as he could as I cleaned up the pond on the kitchen floor, and yelled threats that Canada could hear. By this time I am well aware that even I do not understand the extent of this child's talent for sabotaging cleaning day, so I scurry upstairs to find him. And I almost just turned around and went back downstairs once I found him.

Do you know how hard it is to get pencil off of walls? There was pencil all over every wall in the hall way. Seriously the child has impressive destructive speed! He wanted the rag I was cleaning with and when I wouldn't let him have it, he threw himself on the floor in a wailing kicking fit. I didn't look at him once, so he got up and went into the bathroom declaring "rag". I finished cleaning the wall and realized he hadn't come back out of the bathroom. 

I have no idea how he got the facet handle off, or why both of his brothers toothbrushes are in his mouth. There was a cute little hand print on my freshly cleaned mirror. At this point supper was burned and Liam was screaming for his supper. The older two were fighting and I was ready to declare bedtime at 5:30pm!

After supper we all sat down to watch a movie. 10 minutes into it, this was sweet little Caleb.

And this is just 1 kid, I have 3 more where he came from!!!