Its 7:04 am and there is a panicked child standing in my kitchen. His hair is standing on end and his little bare feet are poking out from under his jammie bottoms. "Mommy! The tooth fairy didn't come AGAIN!"
20 minutes later there is another child refusing to get out of bed, a baby feeding his pop tart to the dog and lunches in the wrong backpacks, which is kind of a big deal since the kid whose allergic to peanut butter is holding the lunch with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
The dog runs off into the woods. A kid chases him. There are now muddy footprints from the back door through the kitchen. We are dangerously close to lateish for school. I will later realize that the clean underwear that was laid out for the oldest is still sitting on his bed, his body already sitting at school.
Its 9:20 am and my arms are full of groceries. There is a three year old with his pants around his ankles writing his name on the drive way in pee, waving at the poor elderly neighbor lady who looks like she's just seen a ghost. The only emotion I can muster is relief that he is finally not wetting his pants, so I just turn and lug my 5 gallons of milk into the house.
2 hours later I am making lunch. My towheaded toddler is scarfing down cookies and the older one is eating a sucker. I'm questioning why I even need to make lunch at this point. Around his sucker I'm asked if I have a baby in my tummy. "NO!" I exclaim. "Well it looks like it!" he smiles and red sucker drool drips onto my freshly scrubbed floor.
I require them both to eat their hotdogs before they get any more suckers. Caleb proclaims his hot dog is gone. Indeed it is, but there is an entire wiener sticking out of the dachshunds mouth! Oh well, nap time comes after lunch, I let it go.
My living room is filled with teeny little and overwhelmingly contagious peals of giggles as my one year old tries to escape my tickling fingers. There are blocks everywhere that I will pick up probably another 6 times before the end of the day. I wouldn't trade it for anything!!
Later I will hear the story about the kid who peed his shorts at school and the math test that had almost all 11's for answers, and there will be a belching contest in my mini-van that has goldfish ground into the carpet and the dvd player that works only half the time before we get home. I will proudly display A+ math tests on my fridge, and gently remind that "of" does not have a "v" in it.
There will be countless "I love you's" a few "your the meanest mommy in the world" and at least a dozen, "Somebody wipe me's!!" by the end of my day.
Supper will be one kids favorite meal and another will refuse to eat it. Bath time may or may not happen.Wet towels will probably have mold on them by the time I discover them in a pile at the back of the closet. Hopefully the spiders won't be hiding in it too.
9:30 pm will probably find at least half of my offspring still giggling in their beds, dirty socks on bedroom floors, and a pile of dishes in the sink. I'll be tired, I'll probably feel frustrated, and I will climb in bed knowing that I have everything I have always wanted!!
