Setting Co-pay World Records

Well its September 14th, 2012 and as of 1:53pm everyone in the Wilson house was, amazingly enough, alive and in possesion of, or at least knew where all of their appendages were.

After survivin broken collar bones and emergency appendectomies, refer to past blogs for weird details on these momets, my husband kissed us all goodbye and hightailed it out of the country for a week. The day he left, I had doctor appointments and carpool and lunch dates. We stopped at the store before dropping Kyler off at school. We forgot to ask Caleb if this was ok and after getting out of the car, we heard from him that in fact this was not ok with him.

Mommy crazily enough, still thought of herself as the boss and drug him through the parking lot. To remind mommy that she wasn't really as in charge as she thought, Caleb went limp, landing himself in a heap on the asphalt.

I gritted my teeth dragging my screaming child and smiled at the elderly lady staring at us. I bribed him with M&M's and we got through the short shopping trip with enough time to only run half the red lights to get Kyler to school on time.

Caleb, Liam and I headed to our lunch date at Chik-fil-a, where Caleb insisted his leg hurt and he couldn't walk through the parking lot. I was irritated enough to threaten taking the possibility of ice cream away. He ate his lunch and wanted to go play, but when he stood up, he cried and wanted to just sit with me. Now I decided to bribe him with ice cream to get him to play on it. If I coudl deny that it was hurt bad enough to hinder walking, I could fool myself into thinking that we weren't headed back into the oh so very familiar doctors office.

No joke, my doctor mentioned to me on one of my last visits that they were having a plaque made that said "parking spot reserved for Mrs. Wilson and all her boys"

Well by 4 he still wouldn't walk. I called my doctor and his nurse said they had no more appointments. Thankfully my doctor in now familiar with our craziness and said it wouldn't be a regular work day if he didn't see us, so he slipped us in for x-rays at 5pm. Turned out it was a bone bruise, and it took him several days to startwalking on it regularly.

Tuesday I patted myself on the back when everyone was nestled sweetly in their beds and I had yet to visit the doctor's office that day. I was tured, however, so I decided to wait on the bulk of my homework until the next evening.

Wednesday dawned delightfully cool and rainy. I got Micah off to school and everyone else slept in. I got Kyler to school on time and started laundry. The younger two, in a rare turn of events, both laid down for naps and I turned on the TV to catch up on my shows while I folded laundry.    

Then the phone rang. It was the school nurse. She wanted to know if I could come and try to get the rock that was lodged in Micah's ear, out.I shook my head, "I'm sorry I thought you said my 6 year old has a rock stuck in his ear." Indeed he did. Naptime was cut very short as I loaded babies up into the van and drove through the rain that was now annoying me.

The school nurse and I chatted while Micah yelled that we were hurting him and I dug in his ear. I am not sure how I feel about being so quickly recognized in the front office at school so early in the year, but my reputation proceeds me.

We went to our pediatricians office again. The guy at the front joked with me about how impressed he was not to have seen me the day before, then the PA tried for a while toget the rock out of my kids ear.

Frustrated I finally drug it out of my stubborn 6 year old that he really had stuck the rock in there. He looked at me and said, "but at least the one on the other ear and the two in my nose came back out" What?!?

We were shuffled onto the Urgent Care, and tucked into a room we shared with a lady who kept calling out that her pain was a 10. The nurse came in and tried with no luck to dislodge my son's classs clown act. Then the doctor tried for a while. Thankfully he was successful in removing the rock. He thanked Micah for the most fun he had had all day and gave Micah a cup to keep his rock in. The only reason I would have wanted to keep that stupid thing was if it had been made of solid gold and could pay for all the co-pays it had caused me!

 

Thursday we managed to keep out of any medical establishments, but today was a new day and Liam was scheduled to have tubes put in his ears. Thankfully Kevin got home last night and was there to hold my hand for the very long 15 minutes it took for the surgery to be completed.

Liam was not impressed that we allowed strangers to tie him to a bed, shove gas in his face, and cut into his ears. He made sure that everyone understood this as he filled the whole place with very angry screams.

We brought him home snuggled him into his bed for a nap and thanfully my adorable and happy little guy emerged 4 hours later.

 

You have no idea how scared Sunday is making me!!

It'd be covered by your shirt, but not your HMO

Caleb loves the belly button song sung by the boyz in the sink. If you are anyone you know exactly what song that is and which group of gourds sings this hit.

This song has taken on new meaning lately. And I shall now tell you why in way more detail than probably anyone wants to know.

August 27th Micah came home from school with strep throat. I ran around trying to get him into the last available appointment so that he only had to miss one day of school, because lets face it, less fighting has been a rather welcome event since school started, and I didn't want to disrupt that for too long.

After our fast and greasy burgers we gobbled at dinner time, my husband complained about a stomach ache. The man lives on grease alone, so a stomach ache really isn't that shocking. I'm rather bitter that his diet dripping with grease and deep fried everything has forgotten to raise his cholesterol higher than mine and I eat a tad bit healthier!

After being up all night with pain, he went to his doctor who decided that even though it could possibly be appendecitis, indigestion was much easier to treat. At this point I will pause and say, your welcome world for the hypochondriac that is me. I take full responsibility for the crazy, leave-his-socks-on-the-floor guy that is Kevin still being around to leave his socks on the floor. I insisted he go in. Just in case.

I waved as he headed to the ER on his own. People, don't judge, I have 4 boys, one who had strep and one who was finally taking a nap and you don't mess with nap time!! So when it became apparent that he was going to visiting the operating room, I called the babysitter and filled a backpack with chocolate (for me), and clean underwear(for him)  and went to be by his dressed-in-an-open-backed-gown side.

I sat in a waiting room with a large tv playing a medical drama, and listening to a woman loudly tell the story of how her friend almost died from her ruptured appendix. She left, the show changed to CSI or something, and it got dark. Then the doctor came out. I was sure he was going to tell me that something bad happened, like maybe he accidently cut the wrong thing out!

Thankfully he didn't and my husband was sitting in a recovery room. He told me that while they were in there they had repaired a small hernia. When I was finally allowed back to see him, he was hurting and had to pee, but grouchy about the fact that he had to PAY someone to TAKE something from him.

He spent the next few days on Percocet, taking advantage of being waited on hand and foot, and then his belly button bandage came off.

I wish so bad I would have pictures, but he has threatened to leave me if I take any. Before surgery, Kevin had no belly button. It was just a little dent. He hates belly buttons and I kind of enjoy getting a rise out of him by touching it. After surgery he has a very defined deep belly button! Where is the belly button that I married? What did they do in that OR??? Sometimes I wake up at night and freak out, wondering who the guy in bed with me is, and then I remember the surgery.

Belly button Uh Uh!

Things that go AHHHHHHH

Sometimes I wonder what my life would have looked like had I decided to become a nun and live in a secluded convent away from people and husbands and kids and everything else that makes up my life. I probably wouldn't be on a first name basis with ER employees. I probably wouldn't have arguments with my husband over whose turn it is to take out the trash. I wouldn't have to juggle which extended family we are spending Christmas with. I wouldn't have to spend hours on the phone arguing over lost financial aid forms. I wouldn't be doing homework at 8:00pm on a Sunday night, or trying to decide which uniform goes on which child at 6am. 

As it is I got married and started fighting immediately with my husband about toothpaste brands. I had 4 boys who break bones a few days before the first day of school and need bottles at 3am, and forget to do their homework and hide in the corner to suck on the babies pacifier. I have in-laws.....no comment. I have debt, and sleep in my makeup and let my kids watch TV everyday. I have a half completed degree and very little motivation. I have things growing in my fridge and I'm usually late to church.

About a week ago, I was feeling somewhat in control of my life. I had things that weren't exactly how I wanted them to be, but on that Friday I had purchased all school supplies and uniforms and had childcare lined up for the first day of Kindergarten on Monday when parents are included. I had half of my house cleaned. I was registered for my biology classes, getting me one step closer to my nursing degree. My husband and I had gone a full 24 hours without arguing and except for an impending surgery for ear tubes on the baby, everyone was well, and even the surgery was scheduled on a day that would work for everyone. We were good.

And then we weren't. 

We were at a family picnic type day for Compassion, at a park. It wasn't too hot, but such a beautiful day. The baby had finally fallen asleep and the older two were playing with their friends. I was finally going to get a minute to chat with a friend. I was smiling and felt unhurried. I encouraged Kyler to race his friend to the swing. He did. He fell. He screamed.

I told him to shake it off and go play. When his face lost all color and he laid down in the grass, I told him to go show daddy. Daddy told him to stop screaming. I explained to several concerned people that he was tired. First aid people checked the mobility of his arm encouraging a wide range of very painful movement and said it wasn't dislocated. He's good he just needs a nap.

After a nap he was still screaming so daddy took him in. He had broken his collar bone.

At this point I am hoping that inhumane amounts of radiation from impossible numbers of x-rays aren't to terribly bad for a little kid!

Its amazing to me how good that shoulder feels when he wants to jump on the trampoline, yet how impossible it is to move it when its time to make the bed. And did you know that broken collar bones require lots of candy and extra hugs at night?

The two older kids started school. We are now immersed in last minute homework, running out the door, breakfast in hand, and long carpool lanes.

But just in case we foolishly think we might have life together, Kevin is going to be in Africa and the DR for the month of September and Liam is having surgery and I am frantically trying to find last minute forms to remain in my biology classes. We have bone doctor appointments and ear doctor appointments and I just remembered picture day.....

Love with a pulse

August 1st. Holy Cow! Or Chicken!

I have spent the last two weeks in North Carolina by a pool and out of touch with the world a bit. But of course I have Facebook so I caught up! The last day of July I heard someone mention that the next day was Chick-fil-a appreciation day. I thought "Perfect! A perfect excuse to eat out that day."

My husband ended up working from home that morning so he agreed to taking the kids to an early lunch at Chick-fil-a before going into work. When we got there we had to wait through an insane traffic jam to even get into the parking lot, and it wasn't even 11am! We stood in the line that wound out the door and down the sidewalk for 30 minutes before deciding to go eat somewhere else. 

Later I got on Facebook and saw awful fights between friends, and hurtful articles, and accusations about things that I wasn't even aware was the issue!

One popular article I read this morning was all about shaming any Christian who went to Chick-fil-a that day, saying that it was unloving and hateful and that Christians wouldn't have lined up to help homeless people like they did Chick-fil-a. This was a pastor! Isn't that being condemning and unloving?? You really have to hate certain people to love certain other ones??

Incidentally, I picked up a book this last week that changed my view on loving people and being loved by Jesus. I determined that I was going to learn how to receive the unconditional love of the Father that holds no condemnation and learn how to turn around and offer that same love to the world; gay, straight, Christian, un-Christian, in-law, or out-law. Of course every time you determine to do something, it seems you get so many more opportunities to practice it!

My beliefs as a Christian are that God created marriage for a man and a woman. I also happen to believe that gay marriage should be legal. I don't think the government has any business in it. If the government can take away gay rights, they can take away Christian's rights and women's rights and anyone's rights.

The reason I went to Chick-fil-a on August 1st was because it seemed like a great excuse to eat chicken. But the thing I was supporting when I stood in line for those 30 minutes, was my right to my personal belief without penalty. 

Chick-fil-a serves gay people every day with a smile and a "My Pleasure". They employ gay people. Never once has Chick-fil-a denied homosexual people chicken or rights, or acted in hatred against them. The founder was asked his personal opinion on marriage. He gave it. Now Chick-fil-a's are being denied existence in certain cities. Intolerance? Yes, against people who believe differently. Perhaps gay people should have been lining up to buy chicken on August 1st, since they know first hand what it feels like to be hated and persecuted for your personal views. 

Now if Chick-fil-a had made a statement saying that gay people don't have rights or value or acted hateful, I wouldn't step foot in a Chick-fil-a again.

I have gay friends. I value them. I think they are loved and special and deserve any right that I have. I believe they deserve to have a voice and an opinion.

A friend of mine said on Facebook today that while August 1st was about making a statement about our freedom of speech, make today a day about making a statement about love and consider buying homosexual couples lunch at Chick-fil-a. Maybe instead of arguing about who is more loving or right or intolerant, we can make love a verb.

United we stand!!!

Weekend Waterbeds

Do you ever think that maybe instead of civilization advancing, that maybe we are just getting crazier in the head? Take, for example, those poor pioneer women who had to live in tents and sleep on the ground and go without running water, mascara, and facebook! Then there is us. We CHOOSE to pack up an ENORMOUS amount of stuff, to sleep on a cold tent floor with unbathed children, and eat food that has fallen into the dirt a few times, and we turn our backs when we catch our children drop their drawers and pee in front of 15 other crazies who have chosen to go without facebook for a few days! I mean what makes us do this???

We decided to do our once a year camping trip to remind ourselves just why we don't go twice a year, this last weekend. We had been experiencing 102 degree temperatures, but the minute our tent was up, it dropped to about 50 and never went much higher. To keep things interesting, we weren't allowed to light a fire because of the wildfires and the dryness that is Colorado. Try nursing without turning blue in those conditions! 

Before we left we noticed a slight chance for rain. That slight chance turned into probably, with a few drops, and then definitely with a steady downpour which lasted.....every single minute of our time there except for maybe 10! (This doesn't happen in Colorado people, unless the Wilson's decide to take their annual camping trip, which may have just turned into every 5 years camping trip)

My Sister-in-law and her 2 boys and my mother-in-law and father-in-law were also along. They at least had a camper, but do you want to know what happens when you stick 6 little kids, one wet dog, and 6 grumpy adults in one tiny little camper? No you don't! So we decided to head into town to hang out at McDonalds so the kids could at least play for a while. 

When we headed the opposite way of home and back to the campsite, there was much wailing and trying to escape the van, until Kevin told me I was scaring the kids and needed to get ahold of myself. 

So it was Liam's first experience camping. He wasn't really impressed; neither were our neighbors at 1:15am when he screamed enough to scare wildlife away within a 30 mile radius. Typically he loves outdoors; just not when its trying to drown him!

Kyler loved it! He got to pee outside every time he had to go; which was usually about every 4 minutes. Even the elderly couple in the site next to us got used to it and stopped yelping in horror every time he waved to them as he was watering the trees.

Micah enjoyed it also. Of course he found it fun to convince his little brother that every noise he heard or dog he saw was indeed a bear coming to specifically eat Kyler. Micah also learned that there is no space that cannot be considered prime time-out real-estate! We did however learn that he was small enough to break into campers. I have no idea what may come of this particular talent. I try not to think to much about the scary parts of raising 4 boy who are way to much like their daddy.

And Caleb, well Caleb thought he had died and gone to heaven. Dirt, no baths, and an endless supply of juice loaded with sugar. We had to tackle him into the car and tie him down when it was time to leave. We did however, learn that a constant diet of guacamole can really clean out a two-year olds system. And isn't that just the kind of thing you want happening inside of an over occupied, under ventilated tent that is slowly filling with water and floating down the mountain!

Like I said are we advancing, or just nuts??

The Blundering Tooth Fairy

About a month ago, my oldest excitedly announced his first loose tooth. Now to call his tooth loose is being pretty generous. Every 5 minutes for the first few days he asked me to check if it was looser than 5 minutes ago. This child is only excited about a tooth falling out, because he has heard that you get money for teeth that are no longer attached to a mouth. 

At first he felt that each tooth was worth $19. When I came back with 25 cents, we both agreed we could live with a buck a tooth. Don't you have like 20 teeth? Times 4 kids, I'm going to owe $80 for gross little baby teeth? What, no sleep as they were coming in and spending my life savings on baby Motrin wasn't enough??? Now I gotta pay for them to fall out?

Anyways, two weeks ago kid #2 came into my bedroom at 6am panicked because something was wrong with his tooth. Much to my surprise the thing was so wiggly I had no idea how it was still hanging on. Imagine #1's utter dismay to realize his little brother was going to lose a tooth before him. Now Kyler had already lost a tooth, but it had to be pulled at age 2 by a dentist with a large scary needle and a humorous amount of laughing gas, and had been awarded a Tootsie Pop by the tooth fairy so it didn't really count to big brother. 

Knowing Kyler I am very suspicious that this tooth's mobility could have been encouraged by face planting on the trampoline, or falling face first out of the top bunk, or sumo wrestling with brothers over the back of the couch. Last night the thing was hanging by a string, and as today was the last day of preschool it would be his last chance to show off his new gap, so he tried eating a bag of apples and nothing happened. Over the course of several hours he worked up the courage to let daddy take a pair of pliers to the dangling little chomper. 

At this point I will again point out my dear hubby's amazing handiness with garage tools when it comes to  our children's health care needs. You may remember the blog on the peanut that found itself lodged in the same child's nose a few years back, and when Kevin was threatened with an ER with 3 children by himself and the co-pay with it, he went into the garage and found a poking tool, extracting the little nut himself; no co-pay required. 

Kyler wiggles in bed more than anyone I know. Never once have I gone into his room to find his head nestled on the pillow, in fact a few times I have had to move the head that was hanging off the edge of the bed back onto solid mattress. Knowing this, the thought of a little tooth hiding unsuspectingly between sheets made me shudder, so we decided to let the tooth fairy know that the tooth would be waiting for her on the kitchen counter. The Tooth Fairy is very nice so she can roll with the punches! 

11pm I am finally drifting off to sleep after getting the baby with an ear infection calmed down yet again and my hacking husband with pneumonia has settled into a moaning slumber. Suddenly I realized there was a tooth awaiting a swap with a dollar sitting on my counter. I sit straight up in bed and shout, "oh no the tooth fairy!" My sick husband jolts awake, "Where??"

I go scrounging for a dollar. I don't have any, so I find 4 quarters and fumble my ways downstairs. I trade the tooth for the coins and then I am left holding this little gross thing that has lived its life in my son's mouth! What do I do with it? I stand barefoot in the middle of the kitchen in my pink pj's with the stove light on staring at this thing for 5 minutes. Finally I flick it into the trash can and go running back up stairs. My husband can't believe I threw it away. What am I supposed to do with it? He thinks we should have kept it in a baggie. Now I feel like a bad mom. Do people really keep those things??? What else do they keep?

I finally get back in bed, but then I hear what sounds like someone in my backyard and go investigate, because hubby is sick, and yes I did make him get up and run into the back yard wearing only underwear to rescue a plastic swimming pool at midnight once while it was snowing, but he didn't have pneumonia and a 102 fever then. (Our neighbors probably never go to bed, because they want to see what else those crazy Wilson's will do)There is no one in the backyard, but in getting up I wake up the baby again and my husband rouses, sending him into yet another 45 minute coughing fit. I saw almost every hour last night. Stinking tooth, I could have been asleep by 11......!

My Mom

Today I looked at my husband and said, "How the heck am I the mom of 4 kids?? I have become my mother!" And I am proud of it!

My mom taught me some very important lessons! She taught me that if your man is loading dishes in the dishwasher in the most ineffective way known to man, to never ever say anything. He'll never load it again!

She taught me that if your dishes come out with a few little pieces of food still stuck on, that is perfectly ok. Its clean food!

My mother taught me that if the dryer is making a horrible noise and seems to be walking across the laundry room, then your radio is not even near high enough!

She taught me that no matter how old your kid gets, you still lay awake at night worrying that they ate the right food, have the right friends, marry the right person and changed their underwear today.

I must admit that I made my mom's job every mother dream, no mom, not night mare, I said dream. I remember one day my sister and I were doing something we weren't supposed to. Hard to believe I know.  Anyway we were sentenced to the downstairs indefinitely. The downstairs had this window that was level to the ground. After a while, and I am sure this was my sister idea, we climbed out of the window and went to play. 

I remember once a neighbor boy walked me home. It was starting to get dark, and we stood outside talking. At one point I glanced up at my bedroom window directly above us and my mothers nose was squished rather disproportionately against the window, lips leaving smudges, as she tried to hear what we were talking about. 

I remember my mom taking me to get my ears pierced and 10 years later convincing her to do the same. I remember my mom reading to us for hours at a time. I remember sitting on the floor for inhumane amounts of time as my mom painstakingly braided my hair in little tiny braids so my hair would be wavy for church. I remember my mom prom dress shopping with me, and her tight lipped smiles when I headed out the door with my prom date. I remember my mom hugging me good bye at my wedding, trying not to cry. I remember my mom, tears streaming down her face as she held her first grandson for the first time, and even though he looked like something from a horror movie with his odd shaped purple bruised head, saying he was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen and she totally meant it!

I have called my mom sobbing. I have called my mom so excited I was breathless. I have called my mom with nothing really to talk about and hung up an hour later. I have called my mom asking, what do I do if my son eats THAT? Or what should I do if my kid is still in diapers in college? What should I do if I have baked the pie for 2 hours and its still runny? What should I use to get pee out of the carpet? What should I do if I am sick and my kids aren't? What should I do if my kid is covered in red spots?

Mom I am so proud to call you mom!! I love you more than I will ever be able to tell you and I hope I can be as good of a mother as you have been. Thank you!