Girl Power

I love being a mom! I have to admit that I even enjoy the chaos! The crazy shocking things my kids do, the ER memories, even the embarrassing moments. I love being a mom!! I have always wanted to be a mom. I know people think I'm crazy for having as many kids as I do, and insane for wanting more, but every kid is so incredible and unique and adds so much to our family! People comment on how busy and hard it must be to go anywhere or do anything with all 4 of my boys, but I don't really think its that big of a deal. Sure I have my moments that I want to scream and shake a child until his brains rattle. Shopping with just one is faster, and having to get all four out just to mail a package sometimes gets annoying, but as far as I can tell from my mommy friends of one or two, this is true even for them!

I have been struggling lately with guilt. Pressure from other people to do, think, or believe something just because they do. Pressure from people to not want anymore children, because that's "stupid". Pressure to home school, because not to is "unchristian". Pressure to bake with all natural and no sugar and only vegetables, because not to is "unhealthy". Pressure to read a certain number of hours from the Bible to my children, pressure to shop at certain stores, pressure to have certain traditions, pressure to read certain books, pressure to speak a certain "language", pressure pressure pressure.

When I announced my pregnancy with Liam, someone actually told me, that they didn't know why anyone would have more than two children. In fact I was made fun of regularly, and the butt of many jokes because I was having a 4th child. I did not realize that there was a rule on how many kids a family should have before they were considered "idiots". I have had so many people freely share their opinion that I should not consider having anymore, even if I do want a little girl. Why? 

Why is "different" bad? When did we stop rejoicing in our diversity and differences and instead "shoot to kill" if someone has a different belief, different lifestyle, different view than our own?  The woman that chooses to have two children because that is all she can handle is an incredibly wise and generous woman! The woman who chooses to have 6 children because that's how many she can handle and delights in being a mom is an incredibly wise and generous woman. Why do we think that one is right and one is wrong?Why do we think it is our job to inform them that we are right and they are wrong?

Is it because we are worried that somehow we got it wrong? Is it because to gain some of the confidence that was shattered and lost along our life road, we have to have everyone doing the same thing we are, to somehow prove that we are in fact doing ok? Do we have to shatter the beautiful confidence of another woman to make ourselves feel less broken? 

I am so amazed lately at the epidemic I see among women, especially Christian women. Its like we have some how adopted the belief that a woman who holds any confidence or beauty or uniqueness or talent is a threat, an obstacle in our search for self worth and she must be annihilated at all costs. There are so many hurting and broken women who have been devoured by their own kind! Any time I hear a woman, even "jokingly" putting another woman or another type of woman down, I can't help but view her as insecure and weak. And that is exactly what we are when we choose to tear another precious female companion down.

What if we delighted in our differences. Instead of being threatened that she has more children, what if I recognize her strength in mothering and use her to learn more about becoming a better mom myself? Instead of being threatened that she has nicer clothes and cuter hair, what if I used her to teach me about style? What if instead of hating her for keeping a better house than mine, I used her to learn some secrets in improving in that area myself. Chances are huge that there is an area that she might eventually come to me on recognizing that I am stronger than her in that area.

Can you imagine a world in which every single woman was different and cheered on in her differences? Some worked out of the home, some stayed at home, some home-schooled, some didn't, some cooked, some didn't, some had 10 kids, some had 1 and we all started delighting in and encouraging each other on what we were doing well. Can you imagine the strength we would have together? Can you imagine how powerful we would be as a community of women knowing we were building up other women, and that there were dozens of other strong confident women building us up? The resources we would have because other women were growing in areas we had weaknesses in?

The other day I noticed a woman in line waiting to order her food. She was a little older and overweight, but she had this bright colorful dress on and I liked it. I mentioned to her that I liked her dress, and she stared at me for a few seconds with distrust all over her face. I smiled at her, and she tentatively said thank you to me and walked to her table. Several times through my meal she caught my eye and every time she did her smile got wider until it nearly stretched off of her face. I left wanting to cry that she wasn't celebrated every day for her unique beauty. The only reason for the strong emotion I felt was that God has been speaking to my own tattered heart about this so strongly lately.

As women we have such incredibly potent power. Power to build something strong and beautiful with surprisingly little effort, and power to completely demolish it. Why in the world would we choose not to build something of incredible lasting value?

I saw this on someones Facebook the other day. "Don't compare your life to others and don't judge them. You have no idea what their journey is all about."