Who shot Humpty??

When I was a kid, my mom sewed us these super cute dresses. She made these quilts which people bought for lots of money. She made the cutest cakes for our birthdays. My dad painted these awesome pictures. He could draw anything!

Last year in Micah's preschool class, these mom's would make these flowers and objects carved from fruit and amazingly detailed bunny's out of cupcakes for their kids' birthday's. Valentines day found these amazing homemade valentines in my child's basket, and at Halloween one mom admitted after thousands of compliments that yes she did make the amazing gypsy costume her daughter could have won awards it and was up at 6 to do her hair!

I tried to honor my mother by sewing one time, now my husband saves up his patching needs until my mom comes to visit. I tried drawing, my kids thought my dog was an alien. For birthday's I bought a giant cookie and had them write my child's name across it. For Halloween, my kids wear whatever costume I find on sale at Walmart.

This Monday Micah informed me that they were supposed to wear nursery rhyme costumes to school on Thursday, and I broke out in a cold sweat when I saw the words "homemade strongly encouraged" on the paper. Strongly encouraged is not mandatory and I was convinced that if I did try next years paper would read "homemade strongly encouraged, except for Micah's mom". My dear son had his heart set on Humpty Dumpty so I began scouring stores and websites for the perfect costume. It didn't exist, and with two days to go I decided I better start looking at EASY ways to make a costume, GULP.

I found some rather simple instructions and set out to find white sweats for my little broken egg character. No one in their right mind dresses little kids in white, therefore no one carries anything in solid white. After 4 stores and 3 screaming kids, 1 leaking diaper, and a husband who was muttering inappropriate language under his breath, I found white leggings....in the girls section.

I took Micah into the dressing room and tried on the white shirt with the leggings. All was good until he noticed the thin line of lace around the ankles. "What is that??" he hollered. "is this girls pants??" The store associate who had helped me locate them could be heard laughing hysterically outside the stall.

I hauled my howling son out of the dressing room and paid for the lacy leggings and listened to threats from my five-year-old about running away from home all the way to the house. I sat down right away with the T-shirt paint to fashion a little Humpty bow tie. Hmm maybe I could do this. My husband walked by and leaned over to look at my work, putting his arm right smack dab in the middle of the red paint, smearing Humpty's suspenders and making it look like he was shot off the wall instead of falling.

As I tried to quick wash out the extra red spots, I realized the manilla envelope I had put underneath was bleeding into the white shirt creating a yellow spot with a red center. Uh oh Humpty's yoke was spilling from his bullet hole! Kevin sweetly encouraged me saying "its really not that bad for your first time."

I gave up and went to bed.

This morning I wrestled my 45 pound child into the lacy egg white leggings while he insisted that everyone would laugh at him and he would not get out of bed tomorrow if I made him wear them.

Micah assured me that every picture of Humpty had him dressed neatly in blue pants so we gave it a try. Notice the much happier expression on my stubborn kids face.

I am sadly outnumbered in my vote for the white egg like leggings. Oh well at least my kid will have some sort of costume tomorrow along with the rest of Mother Gooses cuties. And hey, I got to shop in the girls section at Old Navy for once!