In almost 9 years of marriage I have never cooked a Thanksgiving meal. Thank goodness both families contain good cooks and we are with one or the other every year. This year the plan was to experience my grandmothers amazing cooking and eat ourselves into comas. The day before we planned to leave, my unborn youngest decided that he did not want to miss out on Grandma Troyer's cooking and has been doing his best to break out of his little cocoon. To discourage his early arrival, I am supposed to be taking it easy and not straying far from our hospital. I even have a prescription ordering Kevin to change all diapers. That part almost makes the contractions worth it!
After panicking at the thought of cooking a turkey, and deciding that I didn't want my water breaking at a restaurant, I sat down with my Sunday paper and clipped every Thanksgiving looking coupon I had before loading my kids into the car and heading out at what I thought would be a fairly slow shopping time of the day. Not two days before Thanksgiving.
I parked in the last spot at the back of the parking lot and hiked my way into the grocery store. I found my potatoes after standing in line for the potato bin. That was my first clue that this was not going to be a fast in and out trip.
Next stop was the turkeys. Seriously it was like black Friday for turkeys. Every time I found one small enough for me to lift and less than $50.00 someone snatched the thing out from under me. My oldest asked me why they put the dead turkeys in a net. I told him so they wouldn't run away.
Next I, along with the 50 people pressed in around me, heard the stocking guy mention that their shipment of oven bags never came in. Well I had a coupon for one of those so I scrambled to the bin and grabbed one of the last ones. I didn't even feel bad when a lady looked at me in shock since it was the one she was going for. After all she had my first pick of a turkey.
I had a coupon for broth. My mother-in-law always has broth on the counter when she cooks Thanksgiving dinner. I bought two just in case. No clue what she uses it for, but I got it and I got it on sale with a coupon. What does it go in???
I also had a coupon for sparkling cider. The aisles were lined with sparkling cider, just not the brand of my coupon. I walked up and down the same aisle 3 times before finding 3 of them...on the top shelf...at the very back. I thought about dropping the coupon on the floor and walking away, but I had already come so far. I made a spot on the bottom shelf for me to step up. Unfortunately I forgot about the middle shelf and my bulging belly and when I stepped up on the shelf, grapefruit juice went flying! About this time my youngest's shoe hit its perfectly aimed mark; his brothers head. Do I pick up the rolling juice first or stop the unnatural screams coming from my cart. If I ignore the screams, will people know its my cart? Whats more embarrassing, screaming kids or bulging belly's sending an avalanche of juice down the aisle?
I bought green beans, because the picture of the Thanksgiving dinner in the paper showed green bean casserole. Not a single person in my family will touch green beans!
So this is just the shopping trip! How will I ever pull off the meal?
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