Tuesday, May 28, 2013

On the Road Again

People ask us all the time how we make so many road trips with all 4 of our kids. Well we recently decided to move to Florida, America's vacation destination, and live in a house big enough fo company; apparently we aren't as fond of the road trips as we appear to be.
Yesterday we were driving back from visiting my family in NC. It was a great weekend and we are so thankful for the 8 hour trip after driving 24+ hours one way over the last 7 years to see my family.
Everyone must have been suffering from PMS, because there was a lot of grouchy little faces in that van!
We made a pee stop because Caleb couldn't hold it a second longer. We got back on the interstate and literally 5 minutes down the road he was crying that he had to go number 2 now! (From the tears squeezing out his eyes and his panicked expression, we knew this was not a drill)
Someone, not going to name names here as that would just be rude, (NOT ME) suggested just putting him in a pull-up in the interest of saving a little time. We were hoping to stop in the next hour or so for supper and  it didn't seem economical to stop before that just use the bathroom AGAIN.
I helped him into a pull-up and settled back in my seat pleading with my oldest to stop asking me questions about how many planets there were, and what quantum physics was, and
how many presidents there were.
Finally we got off at the supper exit. We decided on Taco Bell. We pulled up to the drive thru order microphone and after arguing and changing minds and realizing we needed to also order Liam food, we placed our order. The lady came on and informed us that they were out of cheese, tomatoes and flat bread. Well at Taco Bell that pretty much limits your options to, well, a drink! We sat there for another 20 minutes discussing everything that had tomatoes and cheese in it, explaining that Taco Bell didn't make corn dogs, saying no to requests of 30 orders of cinnamon twists, ordering and reordering before I realized when I looked back at Caleb, that his seat was full of what he had filled his diaper with. I started gagging and reminded Kevin one more time to ask them to keep the re-fried beans OFF my burrito.
After we got our food we pulled into a parking spot to try and clean up the horrendous mess in the backseat with half of a package of wet wipes. We did rock paper scissors to decide who got the seat and who got Caleb, glared at each other as the stress level rose with the smell, and then got out of the van. We were viciously attacked by loud buzzing weird fly things, dive bombing at our heads!
Of course we were parked in a spot smack in front of the wall of windows of the restaurant and in front of a very busy street!
I started screaming and swatting at the flies. I lost my balance and to regain it without pummeling into the hard asphalt, I started taking awkward hops across the parking lot. I am terrified that a fuzzy cell phone video staring me and my little dance could surface on youtube! My older boys stared horrified at their screaming momma, ducking in their seats hoping that no one would see them. I don't think Kevin knew whether to hide too or throw poopy wipes at me, and poor stark naked Caleb started wailing that the flies were going to get him next. We were pretty impossible to miss in that moment.
It took a little while but eventually we were all in our seats again, nasty, cold, fast food handed out and headed down the interstate.
I took a huge bite of my burrito and started gagging. I had beans and orange sauce dripping onto my white T-shirt. I started motioning to Kevin to unlock the windows so I could roll mine down! he was very sympathetic, "No! No! Not on the van!!"
70 miles cruising through Georgia hanging out the window, I might surface on youtube yet again only this time I was trying to rid my body of every single bit of re-fried mush that had the same consistency and color of the mess I had just cleaned up!!
It was deathly quiet in the van for a little while, each of us traumatized by all that we had witnessed. I was eating my third little bag of fruit snacks that was now my supper, when I was suddenly struck with how crazy I must have looked flapping all over that parking lot with flies swarming me and I started laughing so hard we had to make another pee stop!
And that s how we do road trips! Anyone wanna come along???

1 comment:

  1. LOL - we've had some trips like that, too! Hang in there.

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