Things that go AHHHHHHH

Sometimes I wonder what my life would have looked like had I decided to become a nun and live in a secluded convent away from people and husbands and kids and everything else that makes up my life. I probably wouldn't be on a first name basis with ER employees. I probably wouldn't have arguments with my husband over whose turn it is to take out the trash. I wouldn't have to juggle which extended family we are spending Christmas with. I wouldn't have to spend hours on the phone arguing over lost financial aid forms. I wouldn't be doing homework at 8:00pm on a Sunday night, or trying to decide which uniform goes on which child at 6am. 

As it is I got married and started fighting immediately with my husband about toothpaste brands. I had 4 boys who break bones a few days before the first day of school and need bottles at 3am, and forget to do their homework and hide in the corner to suck on the babies pacifier. I have in-laws.....no comment. I have debt, and sleep in my makeup and let my kids watch TV everyday. I have a half completed degree and very little motivation. I have things growing in my fridge and I'm usually late to church.

About a week ago, I was feeling somewhat in control of my life. I had things that weren't exactly how I wanted them to be, but on that Friday I had purchased all school supplies and uniforms and had childcare lined up for the first day of Kindergarten on Monday when parents are included. I had half of my house cleaned. I was registered for my biology classes, getting me one step closer to my nursing degree. My husband and I had gone a full 24 hours without arguing and except for an impending surgery for ear tubes on the baby, everyone was well, and even the surgery was scheduled on a day that would work for everyone. We were good.

And then we weren't. 

We were at a family picnic type day for Compassion, at a park. It wasn't too hot, but such a beautiful day. The baby had finally fallen asleep and the older two were playing with their friends. I was finally going to get a minute to chat with a friend. I was smiling and felt unhurried. I encouraged Kyler to race his friend to the swing. He did. He fell. He screamed.

I told him to shake it off and go play. When his face lost all color and he laid down in the grass, I told him to go show daddy. Daddy told him to stop screaming. I explained to several concerned people that he was tired. First aid people checked the mobility of his arm encouraging a wide range of very painful movement and said it wasn't dislocated. He's good he just needs a nap.

After a nap he was still screaming so daddy took him in. He had broken his collar bone.

At this point I am hoping that inhumane amounts of radiation from impossible numbers of x-rays aren't to terribly bad for a little kid!

Its amazing to me how good that shoulder feels when he wants to jump on the trampoline, yet how impossible it is to move it when its time to make the bed. And did you know that broken collar bones require lots of candy and extra hugs at night?

The two older kids started school. We are now immersed in last minute homework, running out the door, breakfast in hand, and long carpool lanes.

But just in case we foolishly think we might have life together, Kevin is going to be in Africa and the DR for the month of September and Liam is having surgery and I am frantically trying to find last minute forms to remain in my biology classes. We have bone doctor appointments and ear doctor appointments and I just remembered picture day.....

Love with a pulse

August 1st. Holy Cow! Or Chicken!

I have spent the last two weeks in North Carolina by a pool and out of touch with the world a bit. But of course I have Facebook so I caught up! The last day of July I heard someone mention that the next day was Chick-fil-a appreciation day. I thought "Perfect! A perfect excuse to eat out that day."

My husband ended up working from home that morning so he agreed to taking the kids to an early lunch at Chick-fil-a before going into work. When we got there we had to wait through an insane traffic jam to even get into the parking lot, and it wasn't even 11am! We stood in the line that wound out the door and down the sidewalk for 30 minutes before deciding to go eat somewhere else. 

Later I got on Facebook and saw awful fights between friends, and hurtful articles, and accusations about things that I wasn't even aware was the issue!

One popular article I read this morning was all about shaming any Christian who went to Chick-fil-a that day, saying that it was unloving and hateful and that Christians wouldn't have lined up to help homeless people like they did Chick-fil-a. This was a pastor! Isn't that being condemning and unloving?? You really have to hate certain people to love certain other ones??

Incidentally, I picked up a book this last week that changed my view on loving people and being loved by Jesus. I determined that I was going to learn how to receive the unconditional love of the Father that holds no condemnation and learn how to turn around and offer that same love to the world; gay, straight, Christian, un-Christian, in-law, or out-law. Of course every time you determine to do something, it seems you get so many more opportunities to practice it!

My beliefs as a Christian are that God created marriage for a man and a woman. I also happen to believe that gay marriage should be legal. I don't think the government has any business in it. If the government can take away gay rights, they can take away Christian's rights and women's rights and anyone's rights.

The reason I went to Chick-fil-a on August 1st was because it seemed like a great excuse to eat chicken. But the thing I was supporting when I stood in line for those 30 minutes, was my right to my personal belief without penalty. 

Chick-fil-a serves gay people every day with a smile and a "My Pleasure". They employ gay people. Never once has Chick-fil-a denied homosexual people chicken or rights, or acted in hatred against them. The founder was asked his personal opinion on marriage. He gave it. Now Chick-fil-a's are being denied existence in certain cities. Intolerance? Yes, against people who believe differently. Perhaps gay people should have been lining up to buy chicken on August 1st, since they know first hand what it feels like to be hated and persecuted for your personal views. 

Now if Chick-fil-a had made a statement saying that gay people don't have rights or value or acted hateful, I wouldn't step foot in a Chick-fil-a again.

I have gay friends. I value them. I think they are loved and special and deserve any right that I have. I believe they deserve to have a voice and an opinion.

A friend of mine said on Facebook today that while August 1st was about making a statement about our freedom of speech, make today a day about making a statement about love and consider buying homosexual couples lunch at Chick-fil-a. Maybe instead of arguing about who is more loving or right or intolerant, we can make love a verb.

United we stand!!!

Weekend Waterbeds

Do you ever think that maybe instead of civilization advancing, that maybe we are just getting crazier in the head? Take, for example, those poor pioneer women who had to live in tents and sleep on the ground and go without running water, mascara, and facebook! Then there is us. We CHOOSE to pack up an ENORMOUS amount of stuff, to sleep on a cold tent floor with unbathed children, and eat food that has fallen into the dirt a few times, and we turn our backs when we catch our children drop their drawers and pee in front of 15 other crazies who have chosen to go without facebook for a few days! I mean what makes us do this???

We decided to do our once a year camping trip to remind ourselves just why we don't go twice a year, this last weekend. We had been experiencing 102 degree temperatures, but the minute our tent was up, it dropped to about 50 and never went much higher. To keep things interesting, we weren't allowed to light a fire because of the wildfires and the dryness that is Colorado. Try nursing without turning blue in those conditions! 

Before we left we noticed a slight chance for rain. That slight chance turned into probably, with a few drops, and then definitely with a steady downpour which lasted.....every single minute of our time there except for maybe 10! (This doesn't happen in Colorado people, unless the Wilson's decide to take their annual camping trip, which may have just turned into every 5 years camping trip)

My Sister-in-law and her 2 boys and my mother-in-law and father-in-law were also along. They at least had a camper, but do you want to know what happens when you stick 6 little kids, one wet dog, and 6 grumpy adults in one tiny little camper? No you don't! So we decided to head into town to hang out at McDonalds so the kids could at least play for a while. 

When we headed the opposite way of home and back to the campsite, there was much wailing and trying to escape the van, until Kevin told me I was scaring the kids and needed to get ahold of myself. 

So it was Liam's first experience camping. He wasn't really impressed; neither were our neighbors at 1:15am when he screamed enough to scare wildlife away within a 30 mile radius. Typically he loves outdoors; just not when its trying to drown him!

Kyler loved it! He got to pee outside every time he had to go; which was usually about every 4 minutes. Even the elderly couple in the site next to us got used to it and stopped yelping in horror every time he waved to them as he was watering the trees.

Micah enjoyed it also. Of course he found it fun to convince his little brother that every noise he heard or dog he saw was indeed a bear coming to specifically eat Kyler. Micah also learned that there is no space that cannot be considered prime time-out real-estate! We did however learn that he was small enough to break into campers. I have no idea what may come of this particular talent. I try not to think to much about the scary parts of raising 4 boy who are way to much like their daddy.

And Caleb, well Caleb thought he had died and gone to heaven. Dirt, no baths, and an endless supply of juice loaded with sugar. We had to tackle him into the car and tie him down when it was time to leave. We did however, learn that a constant diet of guacamole can really clean out a two-year olds system. And isn't that just the kind of thing you want happening inside of an over occupied, under ventilated tent that is slowly filling with water and floating down the mountain!

Like I said are we advancing, or just nuts??

The Blundering Tooth Fairy

About a month ago, my oldest excitedly announced his first loose tooth. Now to call his tooth loose is being pretty generous. Every 5 minutes for the first few days he asked me to check if it was looser than 5 minutes ago. This child is only excited about a tooth falling out, because he has heard that you get money for teeth that are no longer attached to a mouth. 

At first he felt that each tooth was worth $19. When I came back with 25 cents, we both agreed we could live with a buck a tooth. Don't you have like 20 teeth? Times 4 kids, I'm going to owe $80 for gross little baby teeth? What, no sleep as they were coming in and spending my life savings on baby Motrin wasn't enough??? Now I gotta pay for them to fall out?

Anyways, two weeks ago kid #2 came into my bedroom at 6am panicked because something was wrong with his tooth. Much to my surprise the thing was so wiggly I had no idea how it was still hanging on. Imagine #1's utter dismay to realize his little brother was going to lose a tooth before him. Now Kyler had already lost a tooth, but it had to be pulled at age 2 by a dentist with a large scary needle and a humorous amount of laughing gas, and had been awarded a Tootsie Pop by the tooth fairy so it didn't really count to big brother. 

Knowing Kyler I am very suspicious that this tooth's mobility could have been encouraged by face planting on the trampoline, or falling face first out of the top bunk, or sumo wrestling with brothers over the back of the couch. Last night the thing was hanging by a string, and as today was the last day of preschool it would be his last chance to show off his new gap, so he tried eating a bag of apples and nothing happened. Over the course of several hours he worked up the courage to let daddy take a pair of pliers to the dangling little chomper. 

At this point I will again point out my dear hubby's amazing handiness with garage tools when it comes to  our children's health care needs. You may remember the blog on the peanut that found itself lodged in the same child's nose a few years back, and when Kevin was threatened with an ER with 3 children by himself and the co-pay with it, he went into the garage and found a poking tool, extracting the little nut himself; no co-pay required. 

Kyler wiggles in bed more than anyone I know. Never once have I gone into his room to find his head nestled on the pillow, in fact a few times I have had to move the head that was hanging off the edge of the bed back onto solid mattress. Knowing this, the thought of a little tooth hiding unsuspectingly between sheets made me shudder, so we decided to let the tooth fairy know that the tooth would be waiting for her on the kitchen counter. The Tooth Fairy is very nice so she can roll with the punches! 

11pm I am finally drifting off to sleep after getting the baby with an ear infection calmed down yet again and my hacking husband with pneumonia has settled into a moaning slumber. Suddenly I realized there was a tooth awaiting a swap with a dollar sitting on my counter. I sit straight up in bed and shout, "oh no the tooth fairy!" My sick husband jolts awake, "Where??"

I go scrounging for a dollar. I don't have any, so I find 4 quarters and fumble my ways downstairs. I trade the tooth for the coins and then I am left holding this little gross thing that has lived its life in my son's mouth! What do I do with it? I stand barefoot in the middle of the kitchen in my pink pj's with the stove light on staring at this thing for 5 minutes. Finally I flick it into the trash can and go running back up stairs. My husband can't believe I threw it away. What am I supposed to do with it? He thinks we should have kept it in a baggie. Now I feel like a bad mom. Do people really keep those things??? What else do they keep?

I finally get back in bed, but then I hear what sounds like someone in my backyard and go investigate, because hubby is sick, and yes I did make him get up and run into the back yard wearing only underwear to rescue a plastic swimming pool at midnight once while it was snowing, but he didn't have pneumonia and a 102 fever then. (Our neighbors probably never go to bed, because they want to see what else those crazy Wilson's will do)There is no one in the backyard, but in getting up I wake up the baby again and my husband rouses, sending him into yet another 45 minute coughing fit. I saw almost every hour last night. Stinking tooth, I could have been asleep by 11......!

My Mom

Today I looked at my husband and said, "How the heck am I the mom of 4 kids?? I have become my mother!" And I am proud of it!

My mom taught me some very important lessons! She taught me that if your man is loading dishes in the dishwasher in the most ineffective way known to man, to never ever say anything. He'll never load it again!

She taught me that if your dishes come out with a few little pieces of food still stuck on, that is perfectly ok. Its clean food!

My mother taught me that if the dryer is making a horrible noise and seems to be walking across the laundry room, then your radio is not even near high enough!

She taught me that no matter how old your kid gets, you still lay awake at night worrying that they ate the right food, have the right friends, marry the right person and changed their underwear today.

I must admit that I made my mom's job every mother dream, no mom, not night mare, I said dream. I remember one day my sister and I were doing something we weren't supposed to. Hard to believe I know.  Anyway we were sentenced to the downstairs indefinitely. The downstairs had this window that was level to the ground. After a while, and I am sure this was my sister idea, we climbed out of the window and went to play. 

I remember once a neighbor boy walked me home. It was starting to get dark, and we stood outside talking. At one point I glanced up at my bedroom window directly above us and my mothers nose was squished rather disproportionately against the window, lips leaving smudges, as she tried to hear what we were talking about. 

I remember my mom taking me to get my ears pierced and 10 years later convincing her to do the same. I remember my mom reading to us for hours at a time. I remember sitting on the floor for inhumane amounts of time as my mom painstakingly braided my hair in little tiny braids so my hair would be wavy for church. I remember my mom prom dress shopping with me, and her tight lipped smiles when I headed out the door with my prom date. I remember my mom hugging me good bye at my wedding, trying not to cry. I remember my mom, tears streaming down her face as she held her first grandson for the first time, and even though he looked like something from a horror movie with his odd shaped purple bruised head, saying he was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen and she totally meant it!

I have called my mom sobbing. I have called my mom so excited I was breathless. I have called my mom with nothing really to talk about and hung up an hour later. I have called my mom asking, what do I do if my son eats THAT? Or what should I do if my kid is still in diapers in college? What should I do if I have baked the pie for 2 hours and its still runny? What should I use to get pee out of the carpet? What should I do if I am sick and my kids aren't? What should I do if my kid is covered in red spots?

Mom I am so proud to call you mom!! I love you more than I will ever be able to tell you and I hope I can be as good of a mother as you have been. Thank you!

And God Said.. STOP CLIMBING ON THAT!

I don't know about you, but right now my life is crazy busy. I have friends who go to several Bible Studies a week, I have friends who, every day post Bible verses as their facebook status that they came across when they were doing their three hour quiet time. I have friends who have read every single devotional and are that perfect Proverbs 31 woman. 

Don't get me wrong, I want to grow and be everything I can possibly be. I probably do need a huge dose of "Spirituality" in my every day life. I have a friend who put it so well; "I really try hard to make the Lord my number one priority, but lets face it, the Lord isn't asking me to change his poopy diaper RIGHT NOW."

I determined to read my Bible more. I tried doing it at night and the next morning I had drooled all over Adam naming the animals. So I decided I would try it in the morning, but the baby decided breakfast was more important than the "two by two's" making their way into the ark. I finally found a perfect time to read my Bible; while I am pumping. See I told you I need more spirituality in my daily routine!

Bedtime rolls around and I am determined to be that mom who prays with her kids and has kids who grow up to breathe and sleep and eat prayer and pray prayers that produce food for hungry kids and heals broken limbs instantly. My kids start their prayers, and in between hearing them thank God for Nintendo and asking Him for Luke Skywalker to become a real life person, I must have nodded off, because all of a sudden there is World War 3 going on over top of me because one kid prayed for the other kid to let him use his bicycle and for God to hit him over the head if he doesn't. 

You know that verse about praying without ceasing, I think I am doing better at that! "God please don't let that police officer catch up to me" "God please don't let my kid puke from eating the tube of toothpaste" "God please keep the bank open an extra 20 minutes today" "God please help me not to intentionally lose my fighting kids in the store." "God PLEASE let the bathroom scales be wrong!"

We read a Bible Story the other night and I was interrupted by one of my inquisitive sons; "Mommy what did Noah do with all that poop from the animals on the ark?" Before I could answer  another one asked, "Yeah and where did Noah go to the bathroom?" Which reminded the third kid that he had a poopy diaper, and poor Noah did not get off the boat full of stinky animals that night.

My kids and I do have spiritual discussions. We talk about if nothing is impossible for God than he can make slime come out of his ears. We talk about how big God's fingernail clippings must be if he can hold the whole world in his hands and we talk about how God has to whisper because if he talked out loud, since he's so big, it would pop all of our ears. 

Awhile back, I had a grouchy kid giving me attitude at lunch. I prayed for our food and added a plea for all of us to have good attitudes. Without missing a beat, my child chimed in "Dear God, don't listen to mommy. Amen" 

Last Sunday after church the Sunday School teacher mentioned that my kids were in time out for karate chopping each other over the head multiple times. Yep we are officially the most unspiritual family in church. 

Thankfully I have learned about God's grace and I realize that he understands if the only Bible Verse I read  that day is the one over my kitchen sink or if He has to listen to panicked pleas to keep the child forgotten at school scarred for a short time instead of for life, more than once a week. I think he understands that someday I do plan on joining the deep discussions on how in the world the Proverbs 31 woman ever has time to sleep instead of discussing whether or not dinosaurs will be in Heaven. 

Just Another Day in Paradise

I get a lot of comments about my 22 month old. "He's so cute!" "How do you ever tell him no?" "Look at those eyes" and they go on and on. Those people do not live with him on a regular basis. When I try to convince  them that the innocence is totally superficial, I get nasty looks! So today I followed little Mr. Caleb around with a camera. I did discover he does have pretty cute eyes.

Yesterday when I was picking up Kyler at school, we were standing in line. Before I could stop it, Caleb removed his shoe and hurled it into the lady in front of him. She whirled around with a rather annoyed look on her face and then looks at me and says, "He has the cutest smile I have ever seen." I'm looking at her thinking, "Lady, the kid left a shoe shaped bruise on your shin, remember??" 

Today is Friday; cleaning day. I locked Caleb in the backyard so the house could be clean for 10 minutes.  Well the 10 minutes ended, hurricane Caleb entered the house and I am still sitting in the middle of a ripped up book, with marshmallows scattered about and Kleenex from the freshly emptied box softly floating around my head.

Micah asked for Snickerdoodles. I decided this sounded fabulous so I set out to bake some really quick before supper. Of course Caleb was tired of turning the washing machine on and off and on and off and on and off and on and off, so he wandered over to watch what I was doing. I turned around to wash the flour off of my hands and this is what happened. 

He ate three balls of dough before I stopped him, and as I was filling a second pan I noticed a few more that had not escaped the fingers of Sir Caleb.

As I was finishing up with the cookies, Caleb, who was jumping on the couch, hit his head on the windowsill. Wails and tears and hiccups ensued and I set him up on the counter while I washed up the baking dishes. I stopped to get the phone but Caleb had no problem entertaining himself while I took my attention elsewhere for a few minutes. 

He scampered away as fast as he could as I cleaned up the pond on the kitchen floor, and yelled threats that Canada could hear. By this time I am well aware that even I do not understand the extent of this child's talent for sabotaging cleaning day, so I scurry upstairs to find him. And I almost just turned around and went back downstairs once I found him.

Do you know how hard it is to get pencil off of walls? There was pencil all over every wall in the hall way. Seriously the child has impressive destructive speed! He wanted the rag I was cleaning with and when I wouldn't let him have it, he threw himself on the floor in a wailing kicking fit. I didn't look at him once, so he got up and went into the bathroom declaring "rag". I finished cleaning the wall and realized he hadn't come back out of the bathroom. 

I have no idea how he got the facet handle off, or why both of his brothers toothbrushes are in his mouth. There was a cute little hand print on my freshly cleaned mirror. At this point supper was burned and Liam was screaming for his supper. The older two were fighting and I was ready to declare bedtime at 5:30pm!

After supper we all sat down to watch a movie. 10 minutes into it, this was sweet little Caleb.

And this is just 1 kid, I have 3 more where he came from!!!